ok I’m gonna say this at last. I am not used to playing with Tops at parties or ever, I am just used to Dominance. Last night when I was over someone’s knee he quizzed me on what I wanted and I got confused by it. I have never negotiated a scene and don’t know what it means and it’s not my thing or how i was mentored or raised. If i have to do it I am not being me. Things should just happen if they are going to. Once he got that it was OK and he found a way to get me.

I’m a middle like any other so I’m used to eye contact, words and consequences from adults if I’m in some kind of trouble. If I don’t do it back it’s pretty obvious it’s a one sided thing and we don’t connect. Sorry if that goes against all the party advice given by Tops but not all submissives are the same and sometimes I wonder why I’m here, but most of all I miss my friends. This may be my last party so I have to say it now.

There, done and I feel brave 🙂