I did that BDSM test the other day and it really surprised my ‘parents’ because I scored high as a brat.

Father said… “It is perhaps a surprise though that the “brat” score is so high…. I was thinking that brats rather enjoy being naughty……is that right do you think? It seems to me that you rather do try to be good, but are just not always successful?”

I said…”I don’t set out to be a brat in my relationships, but I’m a middle and used to lots of attention and I lose interest and withdraw if I don’t get it and I move on, so then its just like vanilla friendship. It depends if my needs are met and how inhibited I feel in a situation and if I can be myself or not. I become how I feel I’m being treated and I sulk and don’t handle endings well just like any teenager really as you know and keep telling me but I can’t help it, it really is out of my control in a medical brain maturity kind of way like I explained when we all met.  I do brat a lot to test people out. I don’t deliberate set out to in my head but it takes me over and is just how I am. I don’t expect people to realise or deal with that because most times I don’t know them too well they are scared off by me if it’s too real I think, and they prefer play and scenes which are easy and less effort as way in.”

This got me thinking so I ended up writing a poem that just came out of my head in the canteen at school! ..

A Brat’s Creed

I see the things you follow
And wonder if I’d walk behind
I try to smoke you out
To see if you’re my kind

By throwing you a teaser
I get to know your style
I read each word in pictures
And most times run a mile

My mind will spin in cartwheels
If magic words are said
My body wil be tempted
To catch up with my head

But if you are just a wordsmith
I quickly see the truth
Touch√©, au revoir or c’est la vie
This brat run rings around you.. but.. doesn’t really want to.

Don’t put limits on me
I have no limits on myself
This is not a game
D/s is not play
This is why I never start anything that has an ending
I would rather go without than be caged emotionally
Never ask me to share, sharing is for desperados
Leave me alone, go back to your wife, or girlfriend or “sub”
Submission is love, love is real and love should mean the world
This is not a game, I will never be part of your game

I need you
You make me come alive and I’m reinvented
I want to bottle you up and open you on my darkest days
And pour you into my skin like the sweetest lotion

I wish I could close my eyes, and today will always feel like the first day of my life
And I will remember to live every day like my last
When I am home I will think of you, and miss your warm arms around me
And you will read my mind and come fight the cold winter snow away for me

Will you be my sun?
I need you to go behind the moon while I sleep, and wake me in the morning with a warm slap
So I will never blame you, and we can share waffles and cream and laugh together
For you are my sun, you have my recipe and know what I need
And I will be your star.