I wrote this in my new blog yesterday, as a statement of my wants and needs. It was something I always wanted to say but never could. I never ask or tell or explain my feelings about all of this stuff, and it has gotten me into all kinds of misunderstandings and relationships that were wrong. Although I thought they had the potential to work so I tried, my first instincts told me there was something missing. A light went on after my holiday so I thought it was time to say what I want, and start to find it, so now I’m really happy because I suddenly find myself talking to people who are on the same page so I don’t feel stupid or get treated weirdly anymore. This was my post in my website blog. I’m a happy girl today! :
Being my Daddy
My Daddy will know what to say and how to be.
Even if he is the best actor in the world I will see through that and test him out until I am sure and it may take time and I will make mistakes sometimes, because I am a babygirl middle not an adult who knows how to be, and I have a soft welcoming heart and hate hurting anyone. I’m smart and he will have to be uber intelligent to conquer me and keep me stimulated and on my toes 🙂
He will not be playing a role or pretending to be in charge of me, he will just do it because that’s how he lives, he is THE Boss. I won’t have to tell him what my needs are, he will size me up and know he has the measure of me. He will not expect me to train him to be my Daddy or to know how to deal with me, a Daddy is a Daddy and just knows everything and is like a hero to a young lady. No middle or little girl anywhere in real life ever had to ask her Daddy how to look after her or how hard to punish her, he will find out for himself because he has a way so he will not be afraid or timid to get it wrong, he won’t and he knows it. He does not have to be a member of any scene or practice on a hundred victims to be “good at it” or to big his insecure ego up, he commands respect everywhere because he knows he is brilliant. He will have a manner and an aura that will give me butterflies daily, I will know it, he will know it, and he will know we should be together.
He will teach, train and punish me with love when I need it because I want him to, he is my choice and I will trust him and he knows I will be the better for it. I hate the word “train” but Daddy will do it because he knows I always saved myself for him to be the one, but I will fight against it because of my fear of giving up what I hold dear too easily to anyone who is not my hero. He will put me back in school with him so I can finish my education and love me too and make decisions for me as any little girl needs. He will order for me, send me to bed on time and spank me soundly to remind me to be his good little girl. He will buy me presents when I’m good and praise me when I do well so I know I have pleased him.
He will manage my schedule and tuck me into bed too when he can, and read me a bedtime story. He will show me off and be proud to dress me up and I will do and say things I always wanted to and wear what I love. Pleasing Daddy means the world to me and if you could see my face it would glow like a beacon to do that.
Above all he will be his own person and be confident that he can protect and look after me and keep people away from me who may hurt me.
I have compromised and settled for players and let myself feel like a number two. I will never do that again because I’m awesome and want to be Daddy’s special girl. If a Daddy does not think I’m his pride and joy then he should not be my Daddy anymore because I will feel i’m not good enough and I am worthy of much more because I will give much more. A little girl’s love for her Daddy is bigger than anything else.
Being a Daddy to me is huge, a feeling I can’t describe. It’s more important than a King or any Dom and my heart is like any princess teenager with hopes and dreams. Any fool with a cane can be a Dom to a newbie with stars in their eyes, few can be a Daddy/Dom to those who know the difference.
I don’t know this special man yet and it may take forever like waiting for a Prince, but when I do, I will just know. I hope he will find me in the rough and I will shine like a diamond when he does.