Experience: Knowledge or practical wisdom gained from what one has observed, encountered, or undergone. (Note the word .. ‘observed’)
With the outbreak of ‘Fifty Shades’ fever, and posts and advice I’ve read from people in the ‘scene’ about how to ‘join’, I had another big realization recently. That ‘experience’ does not mean being a player in the scene and going to parties. Experience does not always mean playing with hundreds of people to be good at it technically, some people just are.
It occurred to me that some of the best spanking situations I’ve ever had have been with people who are not ‘scene’ at all and are private and have never been to a munch or party, or had much experience privately. Yet they are amazingly brilliant and accurate in every way; from using all the right words, to the head space to the physical accuracy, to the aftercare. How come? Of course there are scene people who are just as adept, but the connection is what counts, not who you know in the scene.
Anyway, I am pleased to say I’ve never judged anybody new to the lifestyle on how much they ‘play’ in the scene or what munches they attend, only on how they connect. I guess that’s the real ‘Christian Grey’ effect. When I do connect like this then I’m glad they are not ‘scene’ because I know it’s real and special between us. Surely that is the whole essence of real D/s with people born to be it, well before there was ‘play’ and a ‘scene’? So, I welcome the ‘inexperienced’ and more private, whether that be the 50 shaders or born to be lurkers who haven’t yet been to a munch. Although I do LOVE a party too, I get to see my friends to have the right type of kinky yummy fun and explore a little. If people have lots of ‘scene’ “experience” and the Christian Grey effect then maybe they didn’t need parties to give them the ‘experience’ anyway!
Footnote: Before any soothsayers gives me some advice, this is in no way saying to ever trust anyone easily in this lifestyle, and is not advice to the curious or new entrants to disregard safety checks as laid out in all of these great forum groups to help 😀