Time out

Hey, I just saw my blog again and to be honest I couldn’t remember where I had left it. Since I last wrote I have had some personal things to deal with and after attending a recent party I decided to have a break until after Christmas, as I want to get my spanking head together and my relationship as well as giving my bottom a rest. Daddy and I both had things we wanted to discuss, and it has been a pretty upsetting time these past few weeks so I decided to take myself out of the equation to make it easier for everyone involved. I am exercising every day and visually I think my bottom looks better than it ever did and my skin is super soft but I want to get rid of some marks I have had lingering far too long too. I’m going to a party in New York in a month or so but before then I am not having any spankings so it would have been six weeks or so by then since I had my last discipline one. At the end of my two month break I hope to be very active again and sure of where I am and what I want to do.

As someone who needs constant reassurance, support, discipline, nurturing and affection I am sad and disappointed right now with how things have worked out. I am taking this time to get on with my vanilla life and busy myself so much that I can survive this period. It is not a hobby to me but an essential part of my life that will never go away, and that I need it to help me function as a growing girl, much more than to want to have it for “fun”. Right now I feel pretty misunderstood again and I am really not old enough in my head to handle this in a grown up way so I say all the wrong things out of feeling so hurt. I was settled during the days I had a Mentor and even more with my Daddy,  so that is one essential ingredient I have to have in my real life, discipline and structure. I am coping but not as well as I will ever say, I tend to muddle through and withdraw a lot and be economical with the truth, but nevertheless I have promised myself it will be two months away so two months it will be.

Here are some pictures of a 100 stroke caning Daddy gave me a few weeks ago as well as about 30 to 40 strokes with other implements like the strap and shoe horn. I am not sure how I managed to get through this but I wanted to, it was for us, it was my way of saying how much I care and how loyal I always was and I totally loved every minute of our time.

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