After my last session the other day I have had a lot of vanilla career stuff to do, but as I have behaved pretty badly lately and have a concerned friend looking out for me on a temporary basis for the moment I will be having another accountability session soon. There are things I know I screwed up on, others were just scatty oversights and I am pretty useless at sticking to my own rules anyway.
I have had a few emails lately from people confusing me with Emma Brown who was a well known spanking model in the scene slightly before me but she was also working when I had just joined the scene (circa 2006-8). Emma Brown is/was great and I am not sure what happened to her. I’m flattered by the comparison, but please check my surname first? I did use to have a bob cut like her at the time when I was making ‘The Trouble With Emma’ film series so I think that may have confused you all too! Here is me and Emma Brown side by side from around the same period (I think), I am on the left in the pyjamas :
And here is me yesterday just so you know who you are dealing with nowadays 🙂
PS: Just an edited plug and big up for my friend (aka Abigail Armani) who has a wonderful new site of some of her erotic novels. I have known her for years and am so pleased for her success after all the dedication she has given to her work. Please visit and send some love to her, via BISHOP not Brown haha: http://abigailarmani.blogspot.co.uk
I had a school role play session today and was thoroughly spanked for ‘stealing from a store’. I got changed afterwards but forgot to change out of my school knickers. Good job I didn’t end up in ER or I may have had some awkward questions to answer!
They are about my trip to Atlantic City in April when I went to ‘Boardwalk Badness Weekend’ Party. They made me smile when I read them today so I managed to retrieve them and include them again, so if you scroll down to the bottom you can read them all and how I was feeling then. I’m glad I recovered and lived to be partying another day, but at the time it was awful to feel so ill. I will always be grateful to the special people who helped me get better these past six months and will never forget that. As I will be going back to New York in three weeks time (and counting), this time to the ‘SSNY’ party, I need to think about what to wear but of course there will be some ‘school’ outfits in there somewhere I suppose and plenty of warm clothes because I remember how cold Manhattan can be in December.
Anyway I just wanted to explain in case any new readers wondered where the ‘April 2013’ posts suddenly appeared from. I’m very excited and looking forward to the future, I never live in the past and look back for too long, but this time I will be far more sensible and better behaved at the party….”or else” so I have been warned! Today I had a positive chat with a new friend and I look forward to catching up again with the wonderful friends and acquaintances I made at BBW.
I went to see Mr W, a disciplinarian friend yesterday who was rather concerned at my recent behaviour over the past few weeks and suggested I should report to him. I previously had a rule with him a year ago regarding my play limits, and he decided to reinforce them and remind me to look after myself. He was also concerned at my attitude and felt I needed to be reminded that as a growing girl I am still accountable to be respectful and listen to what I am told. As part of my social visit I was marched upstairs and given a stern lecture about how a young lady should behave, before being soundly spanked, strapped and caned. I had welts on my bottom afterwards and was not sitting down for supper too well when I got home. My behaviour is still up and down and I am doing my best to behave and manage on my own without rules and guidance right now, so until I am in another regular Domestic Discipline based relationship again it is good to know my teachers and guardians are still keeping an eye on me. I am sorry Sir 😦
The final analyis, I didn’t sit down too well last night
Soundly spanked with his hand over his knee, I had forgotten how much it hurt and stung
Sore bottom spanked and caned
Spanked over his knee with the help of a spanking slipper paddle
About to be spanked again over his knee on top of my caning to drive the lesson home
Caned for being a naughty girl again
My spanking in progress, smiling before it got serious
I had a serious meeting with the Headmaster last week, which was pretty sinister and dark in places but ended up with traditional methods. I enjoyed it more than I thought at the time and it made me glad I am able to be free enough to experiment and strong enough to take more than I had anticipated. I have limits like every other submissive and different things I would do in an ongoing personal D/D relationship as opposed to ‘play’, but every now and then I just want to go in the moment and take it as it comes, it is like cleansing myself. I guess that makes me a masochist more than I thought I was, but it is rare I play this hard for fun, I had many tears and there were a lot of new things. I am a trained role playing actress but sometimes I will be my own stunt woman and explore…If you are new to “Fifty shades” don’t try this at home :)!
He wrote in my End of Term Report:
“A pupil who has made a most promising start! She plays her part in the school lively and judicious fashion.
The mature and womanly way in which she accepts and co-operates in her punishments makes it a pleasure to administer them. She earned particular merit by volunteering to take the birch. She does appear to still have difficulty with certain of the standard punishments which she found painfully intense, but she showed herself reconciled and the emotions of those moments are an effective and essential part of her education. Remember it is not about your liking it Emma, and remember the School motto – “Painless is Pointless”! Take satisfaction in having won some little battles against your weaker self”
The birch to finish with
Flogger on my thighs whilst balancing
Ready for the cane again. My teacher told me dress with my knickers underneath my suspenders, it was a first for me and made things a bit more difficult!
Hey I know this isn’t Facebook or Twitter but I got the all clear today from the physio to work out again and get fit again. These past few weeks have left me flaky at best, a tantrum thrower from hell at worst. Looking forward to winter runs in the cold and rain with my beanie on 🙂 I’m off to New York soon and having lived there once during a hellish winter I am preparing to wrap up warm this time. Most times I hopelessly miscalculated the weather, as I did in Melbourne last month, and I end up buying new clothes on the spot just to keep warm.
The bruising on my thighs from my misadventure the other day has come out now, and although I had no idea at the time how serious it was I know now I played way too hard. It is not somewhere I have ever been hit before so I bruised badly, and I didn’t even see it as appropriate ‘discipline’ either in our role play scene, but more something a serious BDSM masochist would enjoy for some kind of stimulation I suppose. It was all way too grown up for me to take in at the time but I let myself go into a trance again and went along with it. I was lucky today when I saw the physio that I wore knee length joggers so I didn’t have to show him my legs because it would have been hugely embarrassing.
Today I was out at a birthday lunch with 8 other girls and managed to stick to one glass of alcohol, even though I had one of my rules banning it for me recently because of how it affects me, but once the girls said “Oh go on Emma just have one” I felt obliged to, just so I could say “Cheers” properly to the birthday girl. I’m easily led like that in peer groups and it’s just my immaturity and I really find it hard to be the odd one out. I also don’t have too much pocket money left this month yet I saw this dress in TK Maxx and had to have it and then saw two handbags to go with it so I bought them too, even though I have a zillion dresses and about 20 handbags, but of course not in those colours, it’s a girl thing!. Luckily I have already got my plane ticket and money I need for my next trip and time to save up so I hope my overspending won’t affect too much. I am looking forward to a couple of weeks of doing other things now and trying to stay out of trouble!
After a recent hiatus I have decided to start up a new blog where I can keep any of my followers and friends in touch with my news.
I split up with my Daddy and sister on Australia after almost 6 months of being a poly triad closed family. I loved them both and tried something new, but I’m not adult enough to handle it and had to leave. I am still heartbroken and sulked snd kept in what I should have talked through, but I felt they rejected me and I was always unequal in love. It may not have even been the poly experience but just them, but I will never know now.
For anybody who has not ‘met’ me before or heard of me I have uploaded a lot of pictures in my Gallery page, to represent my work in the scene from way back when I started in 2006, right up until today. I’m amazed I’m still doing this but thanks to lots of rules and good sleep, fitness and diet I pretty much feel as lively as ever even though I don’t look the same, Father Time is a bitch!
If you have read my blogs before (and I have had four since my halcyon days) you will know I’ve always tried hard to tell it like it is and have a lot of fun with myself, but sometimes I have drifted into writing pages and pages of emotional deep stuff too. This time around I’m going to attempt to keep it snappier and get back to the fun girl I knew, before life got in the way these past couple of years. In any event I really don’t have the time anymore to think too much, so it will be regular doses of my thoughts and news as it occurs. As usual I will never speak out of school, break any discretion’s or confidentiality or post any pictures without due permissions, and I trust those who may meet or work with me or know me in a personal way will also do the same. It is an unwritten rule and I will always be ethical and professional and treat my friends and contacts with love and respect.
I have had a very busy two weeks, not only because I was very upset at our relationship ending but also with a lot of spanking activity that I needed to fulfil. The show must go on as they say, and it is, but I found myself even busier again than I expected, rather like when I started out in the scene. It was a timely distraction for me, but the only way I know how to react and deal with myself so that I can get my self confidence back again with people. It meant getting back out there enjoying what I know I can do and like to do (i.e being spanked), whilst trying to fit that in with my busy other life and semi careers. I am lucky to have good supportive friends in the scene and hope to work with some great photographers again, new and not so old 🙂 I did cry lots of extra tears though in pretty much every session, not for the usual reasons of being spanked when I misbehave, but with emotional upset and exhaustion. It has been a difficult time but I am OK today and getting better slowly by the day.
I did a session last night in which I (unusually) agreed to take some strokes of a rigid flogger on the fronts and inside of my thighs. This was a first for me and very what I call ‘BDSM’ and not usually my thing, but I braved it out and was pleased I survived even though I cried a lot of real tears at the time. I could easily have said no but it felt like a one off gauntlet kind of challenge and I had to close my eyes, which made it worse as I did not know when the strokes were coming until I felt a searing pain. I’m not sure how I feel about it, or ever doing it again, but I hope to have some more traditional ‘schoolroom’ pictures from the rest of the session sometime to write on the bits I’m used to. It was a school scene, with a huge difference :)!
However, today I’ve got bruises and marks and I have to go and see a physiotherapist tomorrow to see if I am fit again to get back in the gym after straining my back over stretching six weeks ago. It’s just a one off consultation for advice on a good new routine for me and I may join their gym too, but he asked me wear shorts! I think they will have to be cycling shorts, and I will just say a wardrobe fell on top of me! This was all way too grown up for me and messed with my head but I did it anyway so I have a smile about that today.
I will be going to the Strictly Spanking Party in Manhattan soon so will be there for the weekend of December 6-8. I hope to meet up with the friends and acquaintances I made at Boardwalk Badness in April and hopefully make new ones. I was in Melbourne, Australia last month for their spanking party and loved it so I hope to go back there again too. I guess that makes me an International Spanking Star now, seeing as I have worked in three continents so far!! I wonder if there are spanking parties in Asia, apart from those nasty teachers outside of there buying rattan canes from there? Africa? No idea if they have much spanking activity there either so I imagine I will just have to be content with wearing my South African school gymslip 🙂