bbwbritshat_smallPart Four: Sunday and the sickly child 😦

I woke up Sunday morning around 7 o’clock and got myself ready to meet up with Mr A (as I will call him) downstairs for breakfast at 9am. The fact that I got down there on time before 9am and was cursing to my friend that I’d been stood up when he didn’t show by 9.25, only to read my notes and in true unorganised EB fashion see that he had actually told me to be there at 9.30, didn’t matter. I was just happy to have had such a great Saturday…but I was relieved when he did turn up exactly at 9.30, the proper ‘agreed’ time. (but I didn’t tell him I’d goofed up over the time and cursed about it)! He told me the night before he was taking me to this new hotel called Revel (I think) which has a nice self order style breakfast bar. I was excited about going somewhere new and spending time with him since I was really flattered he knew my ‘work’ a bit so I had to milk this strange fame phenomenon while it lasted!…and, he had kindly invited me too. We took rather the long way round getting there (which I do every time I go out without a Sat Nav system) and I was blown to smithereens by Atlantic wind chills, but it was my own stupid fault for going out dressed like I was on the catwalk and not as if I were climbing Mount Everest with Sir Ranulph Fiennes! When we got there we had a lovely Philly Steak and Cheese breakfast and interesting conversation so it was well worth the hike, and we had the most fantastic laugh about it afterwards. I love situations like this when things never quite go to plan and everyone has to improvise and muck in, and it made it all the more memorable that I was sitting there after the ‘walk’ looking like Lindsay Lohan doing cold turkey in rehab!

We got back to the hotel in time for Coffee and Bagels and this was followed by the Punishment Court. I had no idea what this was all about and didn’t initially plan to attend but the whole concept was so funny and the arguments made by the parties brought before the ‘Judge’ were so passionately made that it made for great entertainment. Well, I guess being spanked in public does have its merits too, until it really hurts of course then (in my case) I’m always grateful for the wonders of waterproof mascara, but I’m glad nobody snitched on me this trip!

I will whizz through the rest of the afternoon because I spent it packing, repacking and going out for final shopping, and along the way drinking a lot…and a lot…and some more lots of coffee everywhere I went. My caffeine intake started at breakfast after the long walk to Revel but I had no water all of the day before and today, just coffee all day. The night before I had drank quite a lot of alcohol too and not gotten much sleep again…so if anyone was keeping score on my total lack of personal care so far then there was already a huge debit balance in my hydration and sleep columns.

The next main event was the Sunset Cruise which I was really looking forward to as a way to have fun with many new friends and acquaintances as some sort of farewell to all of the wonderful times I had had. I got ready early and put on my favourite black lace dress and for the first time I made an effort to try and look more glamorous (by my standards), as I imagined it would be a rather dressy occasion and I needed to look just a bit like a grown up for a change. When I was ready I took the lift downstairs and ran into who I will call Mr B. I didn’t remember the instructions from Dr Lectr on how to get to the meeting point so we walked together. On the way I joked a lot saying he could be my bodyguard or entourage/escort and take me to the right meeting place and I was rather bratty and opinionated towards him I will admit, but I was having such fun looking forward to the trip.

Suddenly my breathing became tight and frantic, I had a shooting pain in my lower back and the whole of my right side felt numb and I told him I needed to sit down. I felt like I was slipping away and was fainting, or worse, I was completely disorientated it was an awful moment I will never forget. He sat me down and went to get me some water. Mr A saw me in a state and also came to help see how I was. Both gentlemen took me to my room but as Mr B was going on the trip he made sure I was OK and Mr A stayed with me and made me an ice pack to put on my back. They made sure I was lying down on my side and gradually I was breathing more slowly and I drank at least 3 large bottles of water quickly so my body must have been completely dehydrated. I had this situation twice before, once in Paris and once in New York and I have not learned my lesson even though both times I was made accountable for them. I had/have a caffeine limit of no more than two espressos (or one Grande in Starbucks) per day and no more than three glasses of wine, and regular bedtime written down, because I have some intolerances that make me very ill when they all come together like this. I REALLY thought I was going to die and after Mr A left me for a while to go and get some Dinner I almost called the emergency Doctor three times. All I did was cry and cry until I had no more left, and I had to raise my pillows so high and try and stay awake because every time my eyes closed I thought I wouldn’t wake up again. I can’t remember being that scared…well yes I can in New York February 2011, same thing. Mr B called in on me after the cruise to see how I was and make sure I had everything I needed, and Mr A was a marvelous comfort throughout. It meant a lot that they looked after me that time as I hardly knew either of them that well and they dragged themselves away to help me. The thing is I am usually very fit and well but I just drunk too much caffeine, didn’t drink any water after walking a lot that day and dancing for hours the night before, should probably have still been finishing the tablets for my previous back strain, and I never ever slept much all week at BBW. I hope I will finally learn I need to look after myself now, I don’t want to go through this again but I just kind of forgot about myself again.

Anyway, back to the party fun..OMG I rambled way too much!!…After a few hours Mr A came back and I said I wanted to pop upstairs to the Suite Party as I felt a bit better and could at least walk slowly again, but still had a minor tweak in my back. He said I should really stay in bed and sleep it off but I am stubborn as I just wanted to say goodbye to people and not miss out on that. So when he left to go to his room I just snuck out and went upstairs in my pyjamas. I got in the lift and totally forgot where I was and it was packed with non BBW party vanilla people! A few people commented on my “nice pyjamas” and laughed so I made a pathetic joke about going to a pyjama party and leaving my robe in the room upstairs 🙂 I looked a mess but had literally got out of bed but it was nice to have some water and a banana upstairs (I needed sugar like a horse!) and to watch the fun people were having, even though my speech was slow and tired and I was still a bit numb. I wanted to be a final part of an amazing experience and was lucky enough to run into some new people who said hello to me that I wanted to meet/say goodbye to so it was worth popping upstairs again.

It’s late now as I write so I will round it up. In the morning I met up with Mr A as coincidentally we were both going back to different countries via Philadelphia at exactly the same time, and he gave me a final mild(ish) spanking in my room. I got home of course, and by now have got some sleep and everything is healing well.

I had such an experience at BBW and to finish off I will just say…

The Good: All the wonderful people I met, smiles, warm hugs, laughter, amazing range of events, spankings, getting what I deserved sometimes, freedom to ‘just be’ without worrying I look out of place or stupid, fantastic organising committee and the attention to detail, safe environment, lovely hotel room, hot tub and pool, help and support when I was ill from Messrs A and B, lush beds… much more that I will probably kick myself tomorrow for not mentioning them in these closing Oscar speech credits, but I’m getting tired now but hey…you all know how great it all was and you are 🙂

The Bad: Adolf Hitler’s attitude after his BBW rejection, chips for breakfast/too many calories, BBW isn’t every other week.

The Ugly: Being crocked with a poorly bottom which made it a bit harder to play but didn’t stop my total fun……nothing else because everyone at the party was beautiful.

Thank you everyone for making me so happy!!!! xxx

emma_miaWallace_smallPart Three: Saturday Night blazing bottom fever!

After being subtly sent to bed at 2am this morning and with a plan to lie in and catch up on my sleep a bit, my UK mobile phone went off at 5.30am! I only took it with me to play my music on and thought I had disabled country roaming, but this was a stupid Insurance company spam phone call from the UK at 10.30am UK time and I forgot to mute the ringtone grrrr!! I am awfully scatty like this and I got spanked last year for taking a logged call at stupid o’clock when I should have muted and been sleeping for work the next day, so I didn’t remember and learn from it much I suppose. I found it hard to get back to sleep after that so once again I only got a few hours rest. I showered and washed my hair and went down for an early breakfast as I was really hungry after drinking too much wine and not eating much food the night before, and having had lots of caffeine (which will become significant later). After breakfast I went for a walk to the adjoining Trump hotel where there is a Starbucks, had my usual Grande skinny vanilla latte and did some shopping around there.

I got back to my room and got changed because the next event in the Ballroom was the Uniformed Tops. This is every girl’s dream, a lovely bunch of men being awfully good sports to dress up as everything from Cowboys to Firemen and Judges, and I so adore a man in a suit anyway :). The idea is that the guys stand on stage and for the girls to run up and choose one of them, who would then take them to a curtained cubicle for a spanking. When this is carried out (to my utter glee!) we return to the stage area together with our spanker, and we then have to pick out our next uniformed spanker. When I saw this event advertised on Fetlife initially I had no intention of joining in, OMG no way!!…because although the guys were under orders not to refuse any of the ladies who chose them I have never in my life asked a man to spank me, I really am that old fashioned and shy that it is not in my nature to. I am always afraid of rejection and causing embarrassment too if someone doesn’t like me and I have a fragile confidence in myself sometimes, even though outwardly I do my best to live up to being ‘Emma Bishop’ in public. I still believe it should be up to a man to just tell me, however direct or subtly signaled that is, and it is my place to wait to be asked/told I’m getting spanked. However, having got to know a few of the lovely parade of men and seeing them standing there and guessing I would be safe if I chose them again, I joined the rank of girls in the audience and the ensuing stampede as it began! Without naming any names or even the uniforms I played with, by the time it had finished I was spanked by 14 different guys, which according to Mike Tanner the organiser/host was some sort of new record, even though it is not a competition and nobody was competing like that. I had no plans to break any ‘record’ but just to have fun and do something I dreamed of doing, and I was on such an adrenalin rush once it started that it felt like I was doing usual high energy cardio workout, but as I knew I was getting close to last year’s total of 12 I ran around even faster. It did mean I had to cut short some spanking with some lovely men I could easily have chained myself too and stayed up all night being spanked by lol!!…but it was also nice to be given the chance to meet so many wonderful hands. If I ever go in for this again I will probably choose my personal victims, and not spin myself around and close my eyes before choosing so that it’s fair to everyone and I don’t make anyone feel I’m leaving them out. I kicked myself afterwards that I didn’t pick a few ‘Unies’ I really wanted to be spanked by over the whole weekend and would never have dreamed to ask, but I am grateful for every second spent with the 14 good sports who played with me. I imagine some of the men had their own favourite girls they wanted to spank too, and were probably relieved I didn’t choose them but you can’t win them all as they say 🙂

After this event my bottom was getting very sore and was bright red and becoming a little bruised. After all being spanked by 14 guys at differing levels, but pretty much all of them ending up with a rousing finale, had to take some kind of toll. This added to everything I had taken so far in the week plus my worsening wound which I neglected to point out to most of the spankers during the play, because I was so high on the excitement I just went numb and forgot about it. I went back to my room and had a relaxing shower and put tons of Aveeno cream and more antibiotic lotion to my painful injury which was badly swollen up and hard and absolutely killed me to sit down on. I tried a hot water compress for 15 minutes, an idea which was recommended to me by a lovely lady, but the water in my room wasn’t hot enough so all it did was to make my bottom more raw and sore all over. I ended up plastering it over again and got dressed and went back to Starbucks for some lunch and out on the Boardwalk for another long walk.

Later in the afternoon was the ‘Meet the Brits’ event and I had already worked out my outfit in suitable Union Flag colours. I took along some Terry’s Chocolate Orange’s from the UK as they are my favourites. I always insisted on one in my Christmas stocking growing up and have kept up the tradition to date, badgering boyfriends and partners that if they buy me nothing else for Christmas, please Santa… just make it a Chocolate Orange for me?…so lush :)! I was proud to be given a Union Jack lanyard from Richard who wonderfully hosted the event and got everyone mingling. I already knew a lot of the people by now but it was a chance to talk more about coming from England to my first US spanking party, There was some play going on in the bedrooms and I did get asked to play and would so have loved to have been a guinea pig for a caning, but I politely declined and stood up as much as I could because I was really suffering behind my smiles at being a Brit in this wonderland. Despite all this I saw Mike Tanner wandering around with a lickin’ stick and told the person I was talking to (can’t remember who it was) that I had heard about this but never tried it and wondered what it felt like. Before I knew it Mike had been told and I found myself over the bed for a ‘Welcome to America’ three swats (or at least I think it was three). Thankfully they were on my sit spot which although very painful already from all the spanking was better than having anything on my plastered boil, so I am grateful to Mr Tanner for being such a expert placer on this occasion! I did know I was in America though and although it was given in fun, in my mind it was what I deserved for once again going crazy with pacing myself on the day.

Saturday was the busiest and most amazing day of the entire weekend and there was no let up to the events and fun. I did think of applying for Miss Miranda and Missy’s Girls School on the very first day it was announced but I decided that as I had already been to an adult girls boarding school, day schools in the UK and a lot in my films, I would not take up a place someone else may want to have as their first experience. I will definitely like to apply next time though because Finishing School is where I am up to next in my education timeline and to go to one in the US would be amazing!

In the evening was the big event, a Hollywood Theme night party where we all had the chance to glam up or dress in Fancy Dress. My vanilla friends know I’m a big Tarantino Fan so I chose the character of Mia Wallace from Pulp Fiction, played by Uma Thurman in the film. I watched the film a few times more before I came to the US and got as far as learning some of the dance moves and her walk (when I remembered) but decided to wuss out of working on her US accent and mannerisms. After all it was a party, not work as a trainee method actress, and I wanted to be myself dressed as her and not to impersonate her too much, so I just worked off of what I remembered, because by now I was tired and relaxed anyway so I just needed to drink and have social fun. I didn’t get spanked at all at the party though as I was having so much social fun in character and making some wonderful new friends just talking at the tables and on the dance floor. The entertainment was amazing. Some hilarious films compiled by Jules, Mike and the team finishing with a wonderful Adolf Hitler BBW party rejection dubbed film, beautifully interwoven with some great acting by the team. There was a live ‘Dear Fetlife’ rehearsed comedy reading where a lot of the typical online personality traits we can perhaps all relate to at some time were parodied, with an underlying serious message to people or persons out there who had attempted to disrupt the team’s events and close knit group. Everyone was totally brilliant and having done a bit of Improvisation and stage work myself I know how daunting it is to stand up in front of your friends and peers and perform on cue and in character, and the timing was perfect. Jules is an absolute talented star and how she managed to weave so many emotional and often disturbed ‘people’ into one skit was awesome! I danced a lot at the party and I love dancing but haven’t been to a night club for at least three years since I moved, so it was good to get back on the floor as Mia Wallace and lose some of the big breakfasts and huge food portions I’d been offered up at the hotel.

After the party I had a very mild spanking from a friend in his room, and I went up to my room and got changed again into my school uniform with my red tartan plaid skirt. I don’t exactly know what I was thinking of and why I wanted to go up to the party suite dressed ready to play when my bottom was already touch tender, but it was in my original plan and I wanted to try to wear everything I had taken the trouble to cram into my suitcase! When I got there I gingerly sat down and watched most of the time, but did sample a piece of magic (so to speak) and have a ‘gentle’ spanking which lasted all of 10 feather touch spanks. I got chatting to another guest who was the one who had seen my films (an actual fan! Wowee, I knew there was one somewhere!). He kindly invited me to join him for breakfast the next morning. I was very tired and extremely sore like I’ve never been in a long while so I left the suite party early and went to bed quite soon afterwards. Saturday was the most perfect day, so much variety and I will never forget how wonderful everyone looked and the efforts made to make me feel so welcome, I felt like a Princess all day and this was an absolute ball!!.

To be continued…(final part coming up next)

emma_bbwschool2smallPart Two: Friday, the party begins and my night ends here

Friday morning and I woke up reasonably early and went down to breakfast. At home I usually have cereal and banana, but whilst I was here most days I had two eggs, bacon and chips, although I only ate half of the bacon and chips as there was always way too much. I had to get up earlyish anyway because ‘ThatGirl’ (another party goer who is a trained masseuse) was calling to give me a massage. I’d never ever had one before and was not sure what to do but she got me to lie down on my tummy and try to relax as she worked on my shoulders. It was wonderful just being pampered and initially I was talking a lot with excitement about the party so far, but after a while she actually got to me relax! Yes I relaxed…OMG a rare situation! I wasn’t looking over my shoulder for the next thing to do or wondering what people really think of me or what to say next or anything, but just letting the world go by. I am so grateful for her support and her kind words and friendship made a difference to the rest of my party experience.

Afterwards, I had the most wonderful shower, got changed and decided to go out and explore. I soon found out the Boardwalk is pretty windy and that I wasn’t actually on holiday anywhere warmer than England. I had thought it would be sunny and warm, and because I was able to swan around bare legged in the hotel I thought it would be similarly warm outside. Totally wrong…once I got outside my legs were freezing but rather than go back to hotel I braved it down to the Trump Plaza hotel to dive into Starbucks for shelter and warm myself up. I also went shopping across the road and hit Victoria’s Secret (which I always do when I’m in the US) and topped up my knickers and bras collection, plus I bought a wooly hat and thick scarf to wear on the long walk back to the hotel because I was that cold! When I got back to my room mid afternoon I had a couple of dance card spank dates booked from the day before so I had fun in my room but just hand spanking again, although I did risk a few with the wooden paddle on my good side. My bottom was doing alright because I had brought some great gel plasters, so at least I could enjoy things and the massage cheered me up and gave me confidence.

I took that feeling into the evening as it was the Vendor’s Fair event. This was great; there were stands from sellers in the US and a few UK suppliers, generally selling implements and videos. I got to meet some of the well known US spanking stars on their stands and have some good chats, as well as speaking to some of the people I had already got to known and/or played with. To help the sales, two teams of girls were set up by Mike Tanner and we had to go around for 15 minutes and try and sell as much as we could on behalf of the sellers we were representing. The winners got a bottle of soothing lotion each and the losers got spanked on stage. This was so much fun and I tried everything to woo people to buy London Tanners and Punished Brats merchandise, and even though I was encouragingly scolded for talking too much and having fun when I should have been selling, my team mates did enough selling so our team won. I even tried a very unsubtle and very blondly thought through ploy of telling prospective buyers I would be spanked if they didn’t help save me from a spanking and buy something, but their usual answer was “That’s great, I’d pay to watch that but I’m not buying anything”! I even let people try the paddles out as I bent over (totally forgetting about my ailing bottom cheek) but nobody came to my rescue would you believe?! It was a great lot of fun though and nice when our team had won…well, maybe not because I was secretly hoping to be spanked on stage!
During the event I met one gentleman who said he knew who I was and described my films and seemed pleased to have met me, like he was a fan of my work…pretty amazing in my book!! I am really shy and embarrassed whenever this happens because although I’m ‘Emma Bishop’ I have never seen myself as a spanking star or ‘celeb’ as one person once called me, and as much as I may grin from ear to ear I am also hoping the person likes me as a person too. I did get spanked by five lovely guests at the Vendor’s Fair though and I didn’t even have to get my coconuts out to persuade them!! (hmmm maybe that’s just my silly attempt at humour and a British joke?…we have a game with coconut shy’s at our fairgrounds []). I’m not sure if this is a universal name for this game… but most other girls will at least have coconuts too! hee hee!

Straight after the Vendor’s Fair was another suite party upstairs. I was feeling really tired by now, I had not followed my plans to get any meaningful sleep and the last time I had slept for more than four hours was the previous Monday night (it was now Friday). I drank quite a lot of wine at the Vendor’s Fair and was high on everything, not least that I was having a glorious time and had totally disregarded my original plan to be sensible and pace myself so I could enjoy every day uniquely. Another gentleman I met earlier at the Vendor’s party when he kindly offered to buy me a drink was there, and we had a lovely chat about the scene, our preferences in it, how I balance my spanking identity with my other life and what my plans were for the rest of the evening. After that I played with {checks my dance card again} four people and had more OTK spankings, but it was all mild really great party play, exactly what I love and wanted in my condition and it was nice to have so many different experiences and make these new friends. It was getting close to 2am by now and I was already feeling washed out but determined to try and stay up later so I didn’t miss a thing. My head told me I was wide awake and fine but my body was already beginning to suffer days of self neglect and a terrible diet. This same gentleman asked me if I wanted to play in his room privately. I think he had noticed me going rather off the rails and agreeing to play with anybody who asked me, and by my own admission to him I had been very reckless and really needed to go to bed. I agreed I deserved to be spanked properly though and that was to happen when I went to his room.

When we got to his room he told me to go and stand in the corner with my nose against the wall and he slowly and quietly told me off for not looking after myself. He said I was ‘Emma Bishop’ and was all the wonderful things in real life he had heard about me, all good things, and that I have done great work before but now I was letting myself down. As he talked I started crying and tears ran down my face and I had nothing to give and couldn’t stop it. This was someone I hardly knew but I knew somehow he was right and he managed to get to me, talking about ‘her’, who I came to be as a model. Finally he told me to turn around and go over his knee. I won’t describe my spanking because this whole episode in my blog is already way too long but I had a very sound spanking that made me cry all the way though and when I got up my bottom really was bright red and on fire to the touch. After more corner time to compose myself he told me I should ask to come out of the corner when I had an answer to the question of what I was going to do now. My answer was “I’m going to bed now, I am tired and I care about Emma Bishop being fit for a big day tomorrow”. “That’s a good answer Emma” he replied. I was so grateful this stranger helped me, and although we only met briefly after that (I’ve no idea why or how that was, it just worked out that way), I proved to myself and to him that night that this lifestyle is never a game to me. It may be a party but this is my usual reality.

…to be continued…(two more parts)

Note: I prefer not to name names of anyone I played with, but it’s fine if they want to mention me. I was new at this party and prefer to be discreet until I know people well enough socially to know they would be comfortable with my describing how it was from my side, I never make assumptions.

emma_brits2Part One: Backstory to BBW and the Early days (Wednesday to Thursday)

I had the most wonderful time in Atlantic City over the weekend, and this is the hardest blog post I have had to write as there were so many good things that opened my eyes tinged with moments of regret and angst at having to dumb myself down. Anyone who knows me will know I fly around at 100mph and the word ‘relax’ is not in my vocabulary. I have never found it easy to do because I’m always looking for the next challenge or personal goal to fulfil and I once decided that if I were ever going to die it would be having a good time and dying through exhaustion and hyper activeness, and not from relaxing too long having an easy life. I ignore people who tell me to take it easy and look after myself more and I have been punished and spanked before for burning myself out, so one day I will either actually listen to somebody or….well anyway….

I arrived in Atlantic City last Wednesday and although the early meet and greet was the following evening I wanted to settle into my hotel room early, have a peaceful night and be fresh the next day. That was the plan, and that should have been a rule I enforced for myself but as I am currently Daddy, Mentor, or Guardian-less and was at BBW on my own…I sort of forgot. My build up to the event started months ago when I first registered, but before I go on to describe my fun times at the party I will mention what happened the previous two weeks before I arrived, which in some ways were and still are significant in how they affected my emotional and physical state.

I was doing some late night exercise tone up my tummy on Wednesday 10th April before bed and pulled a muscle in my back twisting side to side, doing similar exercises I do most every day and have for years. I could hardly move the next day and was put on pain killers for two weeks which I should have still been taking through the Boardwalk Badness Event under Doctor’s orders. However after a few days it was easier so I stopped taking the tablets and threw them away so I wouldn’t have to take them to the US (and could drink and have fun!). I was so pleased to have recovered (in my mind) on the 15th, just in time for my flight out on the Wednesday 17th. However, disaster struck again though that day when I had a horrid pimple on my bottom which felt like a bruise and made sitting down uncomfortable. I have no idea how or why I got it or where from, maybe an unclean cane or something or a toilet seat but something was trying to ruin my trip and tell me not to go to the party at all. I was mortified and in tears and although I had it squeezed it was very sore and I had to use cushioned plasters and hope it healed so I could at least have some play for some of the party. I tried to put it out my mind and got packed and ready to get the coach to London and fly out to Philadelphia.

I arrived in Philadelphia two hours later than scheduled as the flight was delayed, and I was met by a US friend I made online who offered to chaperone me and collect me in his car. On the way to the hotel he kindly stopped off at a Pharmacy so I could get some antibiotic gel that was recommended by the Pharmacist at the UK airport for my poorly bottom, which had by now turned into a cyst before I took off. We had a nice meal together and went to the hotel, where I had an immediate welcome spanking and introduction to US leather straps and paddles. He was careful to apply them to the side of my bottom which was OK, but I felt brave after a drink and once the antibiotic cream worked so I asked him to give me a few hard as normal anywhere on my bottom as if I weren’t injured. I hate feeling like a wuss and hoped I could just carry on playing as normal with a gel plaster on. It was so great to have arrived and I was grateful of any kind of stress relieving spanking, having stressed about the delayed flight too. After having a freshen-up we went down to the bar to meet the team and other early revelers who had arrived. It was a chance to meet Richard Windsor and Mike Stein from the organising team and their network as well as catching up with Pandora Blake a familiar UK face. As I said, I originally planned an early night but after the bar we were invited up to a suite for more drinks and chat and it was fantastic to share anecdotes with the US spankos and find out what was in store at the party. I went to bed some time around 4am (I think) but with a smile and feeling already very welcomed across the pond!

Thursday Morning arrived and there was a breakfast brunch meeting laid on for 11am. In my usual ‘Trouble with Emma’ style I had set my clock for 9am to get up early and shower, only to find I woke up at 10.45 to see I had set it for 9pm! So, I had 15 minutes to get dressed and get downstairs as there was a veiled threat that if I wasn’t out of bed one of the ‘Tops’ might be sent up to persuade me to get out of bed! Anyway I snuck in at 11.10 and got to meet the entire organising team and get to know the names and faces of the wonderful people who I would soon be adding to my friends list. After that my chaperone friend took me to the Metro PCS shop to get my US mobile phone set up again so I could make local calls to my friends in the US and hook up with any new ones, as well as phoning home. Next up was some time to chill in my room and unpack properly before Richard Windsor’s hot tub pool party. This was wonderful as I had the first chance this year to wear my swimsuit for the first time in ages and the pool area was so warm so it felt like I really was on holiday. The hot tub was wonderfully warm and the chlorine in the water helped to soothe my bottom which had swollen up badly from my recklessness the day before but I had a glow and it was so worth it at the time 🙂 As people started arriving by now I was so relaxed as I had already been there almost a day that I found it easy to mix and discuss possible dance card dates. I dunked myself in the hot tub to wet my hair and it always goes naturally curly and I look a mess (although some want me to stay curly forever), but in this environment who cares what I look like, it’s about being yourself and letting out and letting go. I found that out a lot more as the party fever set in. I hadn’t planned on talking myself into another spanking and had put off one or two people as I was conscious of my weak bottom, but I was reminded of a promise I had made online weeks before and an incident where I had misbehaved. So, I was to keep my semi wet swimming costume on underneath my clothes as I left the pool and report back to my room with him. My bottom felt fine with the warm water healing it, or so I thought, and after a lecture I was very soundly spanked across the knee of this kindly caring friend who had been looking out for me online for a while. It stung more over my swimsuit, but as I was feeling damp and uncomfortable in it I took it off completely and had the hardest and fastest part of the finale in the nude on my bare bottom with no holds barred. I was feeling I had let myself down and it was reminded to me and I cried my eyes out throughout and was glad he didn’t stop because I needed to know that when I act like this I get what I richly deserve. I can only let myself go like this with few people I trust or have immediate chemistry with that make me feel in the right place emotionally, and I was conditioned to be able to give up my submission and the fight in me through years of close personal mentoring and discipline. I can’t explain how or why or when it happens like this but when it does and I know I need and deserve it, it is the single best benefit I can get out of any of this that is non sexual…hmmm well yes sometimes it is too when I stop crying and in the right situation 🙂 But was a special spanking I needed from a special friend who I know meant it because he cares about me and my feeling good about myself and not putting myself down.

That evening there was early registration at 8pm and I went down to eat early and met up with the lovely Marie and her friends who I joined for dinner. We had chatted online a little before and as I had set up to have a massage from her the next day it was good to meet and chat. I had never in my life had a massage before so was looking forward to a new experience. I went and collected my own registration badge and quickly recognised a lot of the people arriving, including fellow Brits I was already friends with socially and working together in films. I was introduced to many other wonderful personalities from Fetlife and tried to remember the names, but in the absence of that the smiles sufficed 🙂 Later in the evening there were suite parties and I found myself playing with virtually everybody who asked me as I was so glad to be there and high on too much alcohol already and to find such welcoming people who seemed glad I was there too. I noticed sometime during the playtime that my broken bottom was hardening up underneath the plaster because try hard as everyone did to avoid it, I sometimes asked people to ignore it because I just wanted to belong fully and be spanked properly without feeling like I had to have concessions and allowances made. After all I was ‘Emma Bishop’ the toughie Brit Brat, this can’t be happening to me, I am never injured or wearing plasters to play! The reality is all that I was making things worse and later in the week I would find out more….

to be continued ……

emma_flagHeyyyy! I haven’t blogged for a while so just as it comes I will write about my forthcoming trip to the US to attend ‘Boardwalk Badness Weekend’ in Atlantic City in 5 days!! On a whim, I decided to go because a) I usually have a holiday somewhere hot at this time of year and it will be warmer than here, and b) For the past four months I have been cooped up recording my music album and recovering from illness related scares that could have been worse but thankfully I got the all clear on…so I deserve some fun and nothing is going to spoil that, that was/is the plan. However, last Sunday I stupidly did sit-ups before bed having already worked out for an hour and gone running and I pulled a nerve muscle in my back. So now i’ve been on pain killers and am trying to get fit for the event. Thankfully today is better and I walked three miles fine so I am pretty certain I will be OK in a day or two phew!
This photo (left) is an early modeling pic when I joined the scene as a spanking model back in the day (late 2006). As I am attending a ‘Meet the Brits’ event out there this seems  appropriate as a flag flyer. I was ‘The UK Brit Brat’ at that time and for a few years afterwards/still am :)! Photo by Roy T (thanks!) but I cut my friend out who shot with me as she is doing other things now 🙂

I had some great spanking sessions recently and in my last one took around 36 with the cane, pretty hard, some full force and it was a great workout as I’d been slowly building up again after my injury last year and four months of pitter-pattering around it. The best thing about it was that my spanker had created a system where within the role play I had the chance to have a say in how much I wanted of each implement. As it was role play that was fine, although in real life spanking I never have or want any kind of say in that, it is not my place and once I give control at the start of any relationship it stays there. In role play, professionally or otherwise, I think there has to be a more gradual consent as you get to know someone and can agree limits. I usually expect the spanker to gauge that from my reactions but every now and again, I will say something maybe a hint and hope they get it and re-adjust. As I am not in a spanking real life relationship at the moment then things are controlled a lot more and although it is not what I am used to, it is sensible and nobody gets too deeply into it. I’m finding lots more fun and games in spanking play too so even going to a party is fun again for now. I am very much on the edge emotionally a lot anyway and hang on to my emotions and bottle a lot up so I am wary of sharing that unless it feels right and is in a situation where there may be some futurology. I have deliberately shied away from seeking disciplinary spankings even when I have needed them and known I have screwed up and misbehaved badly, because I know myself I am only capable of giving myself fully to them if I have already bought into and agreed a whole arrangement. I have had one-offs where I’ve been spanked on the spot and cried my eyes out and often wish I could do that more, but for the most part that takes a huge amount of trust from me to give myself to that so I rarely let myself enter into that, even if inside I know I need it and was bought up on regular sore bottoms from my former Mentor. Its a battle with myself and also because I am very feminine and old fashioned and never ask for anything, it is never my place to, so unless I am told then and just taken in hand by someone things won’t happen. Of course I have to want to be told by that particular person at that time, so its a big call and the other person has to be very determined and strong with me or I will just get my own way and talk my way out of it.

I am finding I like leather a lot more than wood right now but its only because I gave up taking wood for a while and got more used to the feel of spanking and straps again so now wood feels a little alien. I forgot the sensation but after my session on Tuesday it is coming back again and I still like it but have to grit my teeth a little more than I did before. At one time I could take 100 strokes but now I am wary of getting cut and being out of action for a while so I am more sensible. It is all in my control and although I hate that in some ways, it keeps me doing more things more often right now. I have a few sessions booked for when I come back from the US so I hope I will be back to normal with all the potential activity out there. I have a really good Quality Control leather paddle and always include it in the implements people can use in a session because it has a certain sting and spread to it that I like. Of course if it were used in a disciplinary at a higher level I am likely to hate it, but the sensation from leather feels a lot better than it used to when I just saw it as another implement and could not distinguish the feel of it so much, as I had been having too many years of severe impact play that blurred my fun and experience,

I am having dialogue with a few Americans online and in the forum group for the party but am finding there is a big difference and misunderstanding in humour sometimes, so when I am (maybe) deliberately bratting or teasing someone they sometimes think I am complaining or saying I’m not happy with something or don’t want something, so in the end I just politely leave it there. I am very much a face to face person and often someone can look at me a certain way and I know what they mean and my reaction gives me a way too. So I hope I can learn the spanking party language over there and not give anyone the impression than I am any sort of stuck up aloof Brit! In fact I was the unofficial “UK Brit Brat” for a few years and did a shoot with the Union Jack as a backdrop which helped me on my way to more work and spanking ‘fame’ so at last I am getting to walk the walk and be the brat all over again!